More heartbreaking stuff. War toy Easter baskets. I first saw these on Jimmy Kimmel live which is surprisingly fresh and subversive. I thought he made them up, though, for the show.

And...the rhetoric is gearing up for that fantastically Orwellian move in which the peace protesters and the French will be blamed for making war inevitible and making it more bloody. How dare they get in the way of the righteous swift sword of Good? Those racists don't want Iraqis to enjoy freedom! They don't beleive the Iraqis have the cujones for democracy! They support Saddam and give him ammunition for his dangerous shell games! They're giving him time to hatch diabolical plans right now!

Guys, it's time for the Left to appropriate the ugly tactics of the Right. This will be hard because as far as I can tell what differentiates liberals from conservatives is a willingness to listen, a lack of bludgeoning, absolutist rhetoric, and a balanced, reasoned, nuanced worldview.

But on Nightline's Town Hall with various Senators and diplomats, it was clear that the left was on the defensive, even when on the offensive. They sounded like either plaintive or strident dissenters to "the grown-ups." That's because the right appropriates the flag, god, and country, and sticks that flag right on their fortified bunker of teflon catchphrases. They also do that neat trick of appropriating and mirroring all criticism. In other words, if an uneccesary war on a nonthreatening Muslim nation starts to smack of racism, call the liberals racist. If your argument that Iraq is in defiance of many resolutions and its people deserve liberation is undermined by the inconsistencies of the US having ignored or vetoed plenty of resolutions and ignored plenty of genocides, start screaming about Bosnia and Rwanda yourself. If your plan looks like it's shaping up to be a chaotic bloodbath, start asserting that the "price of inaction" is much higher than that of action. These rhetorical tactics would be thrown out of any debate team's arsenal, conflate unlike things, and incorporate faulty assumptions (ie that "another" 9/11 somehow will be prevented by attacking Iraq), but they make the left have to parse, unpack, and pause at gigantic pieces of shit.

I say bullshit right back. Seize the high ground, wrap yourself in the flag, claim 9/11 and Iraqi independence and the security of the US BEFORE the right does. The time for reasoned, clear discourse is over. These conservaties are so blind and full of shit the only thing they understand is fighting dirty, and the only thing they hear ar their own lies. Steal their thunder. Interrupt them. Use that bullying tone. Fuck our liberal gently humanitarian ways. This is war.

in response to a Times/CBS poll showing growing support for war: article has a great sidebar about how they take the poll, what the error percentage is, and acknowledges that question wording and order has an impact.

As for the trending poll results, I think the administration has succesfully created a climate of *inevitibility* which makes people anxious in this waiting period, and very American-ly want to "just do it." There also comes a sort of seesaw tip as a massive amount of American young people sit in tents and on tenterhooks. Congresspeople, no matter their politics, have constituents who are being asked to put their lives on the line, and their loved ones here. That makes overt opposition to the war very dicey. I noticed yesterday NY's senior senator, Chuck Schumer, was up giving a speech to some deploying reservists and basically said "now's the time to put aside our differences and support the troops."

That's why this is so dangerous. The administration has enormous power (over hundreds of thousands of lives, ours and theirs, world markets, world energy and mood) in this situation, and has created a sense of great immediate crisis and urgency that has its own momentum. Naturally, if they are determined to do it no matter what, one has to hope it goes "well" in their terms; the alternative is chaos and destruction. The U.N. is in the very hard position of either rubberstamping an American drive for war (under the pretext of enforcing its resolutions) or being seen as willfully, capriciously obstructionist, and then suffering both economic and political reprisals from the U.S. I notice the administration has recently shifted its pitch to emphasize the tragedies of Bosnia and Rwanda as examples of U.N. inaction. I think that's a bit of an opportunistic conflation, just as the incantory invocation of "9/11" to drive cries for this war is morally suspect.

As someone who lives a mile from "ground zero," who volunteered with both immediate ad-hoc efforts and later with the Red Cross, and visited and wrote about Ground Zero somewhat obsessively, I resent having that gigantic trauma appropriated and exploited for Bush's war plans. I and the New Yorkers I know would gladly exchange the "security" this warplan purports to offer us, the "justice" that seems to be implied, and the lives that will be lost and the current anxiety and global re-traumatization for *any* threat Saddam currently poses to me/us. I am not willing to be part of the neat opportunity-cost analysis of human lives tradeoffs. I do believe it's a xenophobic playing god in the guise of measured humanitarianism (and a soupcon of you-and-your-children-are-not-safe terrorizing).

addendum: I hear an NPR piece where some Missouri Rotarians talk about the Iraq situation. One soft-spoken woman says "It's time to just go in and take him out." A man asserts "It seems like everyone has forgotten 9/11. I remember 9/11."

I begin to think there's a direct correlation between seeking out information and thinking for oneself and opposition to the war. Could it be that only idiots support this war? This idea that we'll somehow "go in" and steal candy from a baby is so arrogant and surreal. I wanted to yell to these people that the fact they were lucky enough to be born white and American has given them some bizarre "we rule" entitlement and cushioning from reality.

We don't seem to be able to provide proof of weapons of mass destruction, let alone know exactly where they are and guarantee retrieval in the choas. "Go in and take him out" is a phrase that bears no relationship to what will happen. And some asshole in Missouri aserting that HE understands the meaning of 9/11 just makes me livid. In fact, the idea that these are the people living the American dream, the Rotarians with their small businesses and achievement awards dinners their three cars and nice houses...that they rest comfortably in a world created for them by thoughtful people who risked life and liberty for high ideals...seems perverse and sick.

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Here's a humor piece I wrote for radio. NPR didn't want it, they're innundated. I'd like to point out that Congress dropped the ball, wrote the President a blank war check, and left it to our allies and the security council to ask the hard questions and take the heat for doing so, That makes their petty jingoistic gesture (at a time of great crisis and moment) both ironic and tragic. Where are the courageous leaders?

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself." Mark Twain

Fredom Fry Martyrdom

I had one of my long, egocentric daydreams yesterday. As usual, it combined poignant self-sacrifice with It's a Wonderful Life redemption. It opens with President Bush addressing the nation. He's addressing the nation because I've been attacked. I couldn't decide whether to kill myself off or if the fantasy would work if I lived. I've been attacked by someone who believes they are more patriotic than I am because I decried in my blog the decision of the House of Representatives cafeteria to adopt the "freedom fries" and "freedom toast" rhetoric. I'd written that what had been a childishly jingoistic publicity stunt on the part of a few opportunistic restaurant owners smacked of an ugly Americanism crossed with McCarthyism when espoused by the powerful. My attacker has exacted poetic justice by delivering a coup de grace with a magnum of Dom Perignon.

In my fantasy, President Bush raises a troubled brow to the nation. "Good evening, my fellow Americans," he begins. "This is a sorrowful occasion for our country. A woman who was exercising her Constitutional right to free speech has been attacked by a fellow American. Now, I understand that this woman did not agree with much of this administration's policy, and I understand that she expounded upon this at length on her website that nobody important read. In short, she was a rabidly anti-freedom-fry left-wing nut. But even sadly misguided Americans love their country. Yes, there are many ways to be a patriot, and reasonable people can disagree on how best to handle the very complex issues now facing our nation, but we here in the United States do not punish and repress dissent. Perhaps this hasn't been very clear lately. Let me repeat. We tolerate free speech and welcome different opinions in this administration. We expect American citizens to express their differences without resort to physical violence.

I am saddened by the loss (wow I guess I do have to die for the fantasy to work) of one passionate, thoughtful American at the hands of an equally passionate, larger, and less mentally stable patriot. I urge that as events gather force and steamroll right over you, that everyone take the time to count to ten before engaging in strenuous exercises of free speech. We will, reluctantly, but with great fanfare, prosecute any patriots who thwap dissenting elements with large flags, stuff those same large flags in opponent's mouths, or intentionally trip peace marchers with toothpick weapons of large dimensions disguised as flags.

To lower the domestic collateral damage of the war I most emphatically have not yet decided to wage, I have instructed the Longworth Office Building cafeteria to change their menu to reflect our tolerance for all points of view by serving "potato fries" and "yummy egg toast."

Now, a little French bashing is good clean fun. It was amusing when those guys smashed that Peugeot with bats. But the recent crucifixion of several French poodles doused in Chanel No. 5 perfume was a bit disturbing, frankly.

I have instructed the FBI to immediately suspend "Operation Froghugger." We will not be spending several hundred million dollars to investigate American citizens who have recently rented "Last Tango in Paris" or "Green Card." You will no longer have to hide your Gerard Depardieu videos in those "Armageddon" boxes they've been selling on e-bay. And we're going to remove the covering over the masterpiece "Guernica" by the great French painter Pablo Picasso.

But wait! There's more! I have also instructed my minions to pay our back dues to the UN. We will sign the Kyoto treaty and join in the International Criminal Court. I'm diverting funds for the development of the "Star Wars" missile defense shield to Social Security and Medicaid. We'll be looking into unilateral reduction of our seriously overkill nuclear stockpiles. We're going to go along with a version of that Canadian plan giving until the end of March and verifiable, graduated benchmarks for Iraq's disarmament, and the Security Council is gonna all pitch in with making this work without war.

In fact, we're canceling our order for those 500,000 "War is Peace" bumper stickers. People might get confused. From now on, only peace will be peace.

And earlier tonight, I called up Kim Jong Il. "People who differ need to talk," I told him. "We need to talk." I suggested that we get together for an hour of gentle yoga and guided authentic movement. We'll be breathing together, trying to attune our energies, and expressing our respective frustration, rage, and longing for world domination in sweeping arm gestures, vigorous jumps, and spiraling dives to the floor. I urge all citizens to reach out to your estranged neighbors, to your black-sheep relatives, and to those with whom you have profound differences of political and culinary opinion. We are all going to take a day off from war without end. We are going to have a day of healing. Good night, and God Bless America."